Campus rape: Who are these predators?

• Outrage of rape over a six-year old
• Tender innocence looted
• The  horrors grip the nation 
• Anger spirals in Bangalore 
• Daughters continue to be hunted and looted down
• Bring “teachers” to book
• Can cops deliver?  
• Need for criminal action over disciplinary action

Rape is the most frequented  four-letter word in recent times, thanks to Vibgyor High School incident that has thrown open a can of worms.  The rape of six-year old girl in the  city school has sparked off peaceful and violent protests.

These are tough times.  Turbulent too.  Instead of asking “how is your child?”,   be specific to ask “Is your child free of child abuse?“  Many children have started posing, “Mummy, what is rape?” “Is teacher good or bad?” Pungent realities, squeamish though.  Parents face a torrid time.  Hard to imagine a six-year old being raped, while even harder to fathom the rapist being a “teacher”.  Isn’t it teachers are substitute parents when children are at school?  Guru, next to Maatha, Pitha has, odiously, opened new synonyms like sexual offender, criminal, rapist, abuser….. What significance, henceforth, the Teacher’s Day will carry? 

A rape that savaged the innocence, the traumatic aftermath terrifying! A tear-jerker that a bright child is  in an incomprehensible choke when she should be playing with teddy-bears. It  deeply hurts the child is already raped without knowing what it is.  Can any psychiatrist clarify how, someone, howsoever perverted he may be, prompted to offend a child of six?  There should be no apology, as the offenders convict themselves and even admit to their depravity.

Predators in campus

Is campus rape finally getting the attention it deserves?  Girls are disproportionately vulnerable to sexual offences.  The abysmal campus adjudication make life easier for predators.  More than half the victims are under 18, but the latest is spooky and spine-chilling.  Campus rape points out to  callous administrations, ill-informed and recalcitrant disciplinary boards, obsolete campus policies inferring that rape is a problem the society has to learn to live with. 

To recall:  January 21, 2012 witnessed Bangalore police arresting Paul Francis Meekan, the Head Master of Trio World School in Kodigehalli, on charges of sexually abusing a school boy, (“The Telegraph”).   On April 19, 2014 a security guard abused a seven-year old girl in Marathahalli on the pretext of buying her chocolates. 

Rape culture

Examples:  Blaming the victim (“She asked for it”); trivialising sexual assault (“Boys will be boys” – courtesy: Mulayam Singh Yadav); threatening to rape (“I will let loose my boys in your homes and they will commit rape” – TMC MP Tapas Pal’s comment on CPI(M) women members); Sexually explicit jokes; publicly scrutinising a woman’s dress; defining “manhood” as dominant and sexually aggressive; refusing to take rape accusation seriously; teaching women to avoid getting raped instead of teaching men not to rape; tolerance of sexual harassment …. We live in a world that tolerates, glorifies and even excuses forms of sexual violence, when a rape survivor can become a hashtag.  Rape, unlike other domestic violence, doesn’t blend so easily in to any other human experience.

Campus rape, a grave and persistent problem

At a time of emotional turmoil, students who are assaulted are compelled to make a choice:  Seek help from their school, approach police or remain silent. The majority choose their school, as the expectation of anonymity and the trust that administrators will offer, the sort of support that the police  may not.

When  girls were 16, parents were concerned about their safe commutation to  the college and return.  The worry about eve-teasers  who throng bus stops/railway stations near schools and colleges has, instead, shifted inside the campus.  The stress, now, is on  the tiny tots!  The parent/s can escort the child only up to the school bus or the gate.  Beyond that, we have to take chances ….  Is teacher/Principal an educator or a paid employee of the institution?  The recent incidents, though isolated,  has dented the noble profession’s image.

Always report rape

The student/child must report crime to the parent/police.  A  complaint to campus authorities is not suffice for obvious reasons.  Many children don’t report the abuse fearing parent’s reactions, or because they don’t know how to tell.  Those children who maintain “secrecy” are more likely to experience physical and emotional consequences.  Many offenders escape, as most offences are unreported. Being tight-lipped, we remain with the problem. 

Lies are easy to miss

Are we equipped to teach our children about safety or warning signs?  Let us agree on one point:  Any child is at risk.  Any child regardless of age, gender, colour, race, religion, culture, appearance etc. is abused.

When you chat with the teacher, thinking yourself. “What a nice teacher, I am so glad my ward is in his class!”.  Because the teacher is pleasant and socially acceptable, it never cross your mind otherwise.  The reality is there aren’t necessarily any telling signs.  People generally overestimate their ability to detect deception.  Pedophiles do not look like monsters.  It could be a priest, your daughter’s teacher, the family friend, uncle, cousin, doctor, police officer, teacher, coach…, any of those could be a sexual offender.   Do we want to believe this? No.  Is it possible? Yes.

The more we know, the better prepared we are.  Most people live in  ignorance about the risks of the sexual abuse.  Sadly, the abusers don’t look evil.    They are charming, kind, agreeable, friendly …. for a reason.  They tend to be manipulative and strike their targets.  First they gain your trust, then trust  your child, and they have the audacity to take advantage of that trust.  What you don’t know can hurt you. Public behaviour is not indicative of private behaviour. If predator “looks” like predators, there may be no victims.

We live in a very dangerous and many ways harsh world and we need as many survival skills as possible.  Proactive parenting is the best prevention plan, as children are gullible and very precious.  Children seldom lie.  If they think something is “weird”, or makes them feel “weird”, that is a big red flag. They should think twice before saying “YES” to help a stranger.  The school “Head Boy” and class monitors can play a vigilant role in saving the situation, and  participate in the  parent-teacher meetings and punch their inputs.

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Also read: http://kmurthy608.blogspot.in/2012/06/dad-is-bad.html

Feedback welcome: krs1957@hotmail.com